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Worst Album Ever

by Ricky Jamaraz

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snazzyposs
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snazzyposs during my first listen I was a bit sceptical (I wasn't expecting the first song to sound the way it does) but after I've listened to it 4 times I think it's gonna be my favorite album of the year :3. The only thing i genuinely dislike are the conversations during instrumentals Favorite track: Starry Eyes.
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1.
You’re watching The Ricky Jamaraz Show Hi, (Hi) I was feeling bad so I wrote a song to distract myself (Alright…) And it goes like this (Okay) Hi, (Hi) I’m Ricky (Hi Ricky) I can be quite icky (Oh yeah…) I hate my face and hair Sometimes I look like a stoned hippie (For real) I wear grandpa jumpers ‘Cause they make me feel cool (Uh, uh) And I am in love, and I hate my school (Tell me more!) I feel like no-one understands me Except for one person (One person) And when that person isn’t here I feel like I could shed a tear (Shed a tear) Oh! It’s okay, it’s really not that bad (Really not that bad) I’ll just feel hopeless for a second And then guilty cos I’m sad (Slay) Hi, my name is Ricky Jamaraz And this is a song That I made in my bedroom by myself Yeah, yeah, yeah Like and subscribe, or I will cry all night Dramatic pause! (Oooh!!) Alright! (I really like this, I really like this, it’s got a g-) Dude shut up this is the guitar solo, You don’t speak during this (Oh, sorry) (Goes on a bit doesn’t it?) Hi, (Hi) my name (Hello) is Ricky Jamaraz And this is a song That I wrote in my bedroom by myself (You wrote this in your bedroom by yourself?) Self, self-self, yeah, I wrote it all myself-self Self-self, uh huh I made it all myself (Aha! You’re so quirky and different, Ricky Jamaraz!)
2.
In My Room 02:37
Yo, on the lowest of keys, I think I’m French ‘Cause Eiffel for you Bon Jor, am I right? Oh Ricky Jamaraz, You’re such a silly prankster gangster, aren’t you? Now tell me, how DO you balance the lovableness With the relatability, you know? Like, CONSTANTLY, you’re so cool!! In my room I am happy In my room I am sad In my room I do good things In my room I do bad If you don’t want me at all And you want me to go I can go to my room And be all alone In my room I get lonely I get lonely pretty fast And I think I need some new friends To forget about the past I’ll keep you here forever If I like you enough Please do not escape Please don’t touch my stuff Uh oh! Getting a bit sillyyy goofyyy OWWW!! In my room, in my room, in my room I can’t stop, can’t stop now In my room, in my room, in my room I can’t stop, can’t stop now Hey, you’re pretty neat Now listen, I know I’ve got this insanely attractive Panic attack aesthetic I’ve got going on But please, it’s only 4am, the night is young Keep your hands off me (Wow yeah I’m really liking this) Nah listen mate, don’t talk during the instrumentals, it ruins it (Oh, sorry, my bad) (I’m new to this, I’m new to this) AH!! In my room, in my room, in my room I can’t stop, can’t stop now In my room, in my room, in my room I can’t stop, can’t stop now OWW Trying, trying, what’s the point in trying? Trying, trying, what’s the point in trying? Trying, trying, what’s the point in trying? Trying, I’m trying I love you so much (In my room, in my room) And I don’t want you to go, so don’t (In my room) I know that you’re scared (In my room, in my room) I know that you’re scared (In my room)
3.
Starry Eyes 02:21
One, two, three, four Collapse on the dance floor Oh yes! Are you ready to have the next two minutes of your life completely wasted by meeee?? I love to wake up and realise that you’re mine I love to make you laugh I think about you all the time You say you wanna talk, I’ll meet you by the Co-op in fifteen Seventeen minutes later I’m staring at your starry eyes Glinting brightly in the soft moonlight Does it have to end right here, tonight? Just tell me, who’s this other guy who you love more than me? I hate to wake up and realise you’re no longer mine I hate to see you smile, while I pretend to not die inside And truth be told, I still have feelings for you And I don’t know what to do (Don’t give me, don’t give me) Don’t give me those starry eyes Glinting brightly in the soft moonlight Does it have to end right here, tonight? Just tell me, who’s this other guy who you love more than me? Okay!! Hello, and welcome back to The Ricky Jamaraz Show, We’re here with a young person Who’s just been dumped by the girl of his dreams How does that make you feel? “I want to jump off a cliff.” Haha, what a character!! Anyway, up next we have a boy who put his heart inside a microwave And someone with an unhealthy addiction to fairy lights that “will not be addressed,” Anyway, for the time being let’s have this: Oh, wa da-da-la da-da-la da-da-la daaaa Da-daaaa, da-da daaa Wa, dadada-dada Da da-da-la da-da-la da-da-la daaaa Da-daaaa, da-da daaa daa daaa daaa DAAA DAA DAA DA-DAAA “I love you Ricky Jamaraz!!!”
4.
Microwave 03:10
Dear people of the universe Bluebells are purple, Greenland’s not green My pinkie’s not pink, so what does it mean Roses are red, but my name’s not Dave (Are you drunk?) I’m not drunk Microwave Do you know what I’m saying Do you know what I’m saying Lying on the kitchen floor I know I shouldn’t do it but I wanna do it more Wait, sorry I zoned out What did you just say Did you just call me pretty You must be mistaken Or talking to a mirror Sorry, I’m bad at words Maths is yellow and science is blue Marmite’s gross and so are you Scotland isn’t real Nicholas Cage isn’t either Yesterday I made friends with a spider Oh em gee Lying on the kitchen flooring I bet you think that I’m boring Wait, sorry I zoned out What did you just say Did you just call me pretty You must be mistaken Or talking to a mirror ‘Cause you’re telling lies You’re so stupid I’m going ra-ba-ba-ba-daaa, da-da ah-ba-ba-ba-daaa, da-da Wait, sorry I zoned out What did you just say Did you just call me pretty Wowww Yeah, la la-la la la laaa Sorry I’m so bad at this I put my heart inside a microwave A microwave, a microwave, a microwave for you I put my heart inside a microwave A microwave, a microwave, a microwave for you I put my heart inside a microwave A microwave, a microwave, a microwave for you I put my heart inside a microwave A microwave, a microwave
5.
You’re watching The Ricky Jamaraz Show Enjoy Oh Gracie, you look like you’ve been crying I can see you trying very hard to hide it from me-me Did Mama kamikaze? I can see the dried up rivers on your face Everybody’s favourite place Yeah your face Everybody’s favourite phase You’re the game Everybody wants to play And if you don’t wanna talk, We don’t have to talk But I’m always here if you want Oh Gracie, you look like you’ve been crying I can see you trying very hard to hide it from me-me Did Mama kamikaze? I can see the dried up rivers on your face Everybody’s favourite place Yeah your face Ooh, everybody loves your face You’ve got a game Everybody loves to play And if you don’t wanna talk, We don’t have to talk But I’m always here if you want Oh Gracie, you look like you’ve been crying I can see you trying very hard to hide it from me-me Did Mama kamikaze? I can see the dried up rivers on your face Gracieeee I will always be there for you Please don’t cry (Gracieee) I will always be there Don’t cry now, don’t cry now, Don’t cry, you’re gonna make me cry I hope that you’re alright
6.
Hellooo, hi, it is me Um, it is me! Erm- I’m just- Um- making this little message So you can hear my voice when you wake up And maybe if you feel bad or something It might cheer you up a little bit It’s okay if it doesn’t But, you know maybe you know every- It’s the thought that counts, you know? I get scared when you talk about books I haven’t read And I haven’t listened to the songs That you recommended me yet I’m riddled with guilt and insecurity But you tell me to shut up And reassure me and you look at me And I say your eyes are the stars in my skies You call me cringy but you can’t help but smile I’ll take your hand, and try not to cry when I realise It was you this whole time This whole time I seem to miss everything I have a mild addiction to fairy lights That will not be addressed So wrap me up tight in electric starlight If ever I feel stressed I like it when you call me beautiful I think you’re beautiful, too And I mean that I say your eyes are the stars in my skies You call me cringy but you can’t help but smile I’ll take your hand, and try not to cry when I realise It was you this whole time This whole time I seem to miss everything I realise I’m making this up It’s all in my head I remember you’re not here with me I need you I need you
7.
I’m gonna write you a songggg About every little thing that I did wrongggg And how you still love me Regardless of what I’ve doneeee Don’t you dare leave me And break my hopeless hearttt I won’t ever let you fall aparrtttt Let’ssss take a shortcut To the castle in the cloudsss I would love to kiss you Only if I was allowedddd Mayyybeee this time next yearrr Everything will all work outttt Let’sss take a shorrrtcut to the castle So I’m writing this song ‘Cause you wrote one for me That made me happy, baby Haven’t felt this happy in a while You’re so wonderful, AND LILAC!! I hope I never fall in love with anyone else Let’ssss take a shortcut To the castle in the cloudsss I would love to kiss you Only if I was allowedddd Mayyybeee this time next yearrr Everything will all work outttt Let’sss take a shorrrtcut to the caaastle Let’ssss take a shortcut To the castle in the cloudsss I would love to kiss you Only if I was allowedddd Mayyybeee this time next yearrr Everything will all work outttt Let’sss take a shorrrtcut to the caaaastleee!!
8.
I’m Lucas Miller, reporting for RJ News live from hell I repeat, this is- this is hell Get me out of here AARHHHWIFH- I- I apologise if any viewers found that disturbing You’re watching The Ricky Jamaraz Show Get me out of here, I’m not doing this- I had a dream that you were dying And it’s not surprising When I tried to save you I simply died trying Typical me, I’m so shit But you know I love you And I know you love me too Go to sleep, the world is fucked And it will probably be fucked By the time that you wake up You got me and I got you So let’s do the only thing That we know how to do, and survive God knows we’re not meant to be alive Starlight, please don’t cry, it’s alright I’m scared too and tonight You stare at me starry eyed I want to change the world But I’m just a kid And I will die and no-one will remember what I did So I’ll go to sleep, the world is fucked And it will probably be fucked By the time that I wake up You got me and I got you So let’s do the only thing That we know how to do We’ll go to sleep, the world is fucked And it will probably be fucked By the time that we wake up You got me and I got you So let’s do the only thing That we know how to do, and survive God knows it’s so hard to be alive But if we try, I’ll be glad that you’re alive, alive We will return very shortly, You’re watching The Ricky Jamaraz Show Stay positive everyone
9.
The Hug Song 01:54
Welcome back to The Ricky Jamaraz Show everyone! I’m Ricky Jamaraz, your host, And here we have Ricky Jamaraz playing ‘The Hug Song’ Live in the studio, hope you enjoy this guys I’m sorry that you feel this way I don’t know what I can say To make you feel any better But I know I still love you More than you could ever know And though I’m not there with you I really wish I was So believe me when I say I really, really love you Oh, I love you And I’d hug you if I was near you But I’m not So I wrote this song It’s a hug song just for you Why, why, why aren’t you right here with me? Wow, what a performance there! I’m sure whoever he wrote that for Is a very lucky person
10.
For The Food 01:30
Oh my god! This just in, we’re getting reports of a party Getting completely out of hand on Microwave Street! Be careful folks, teenagers can be scary I came here ‘cause I was looking for you But the only thing I found was you wrapped around a dude Seeing him enjoy it really killed my mood It doesn’t matter anyway, I came here for the food Fuck, shit, it’s happened again She’s making out with the guy who killed her boyfriend Fuck, shit, it’s happened again She’s making out with the guy who killed her boyfriend And there are kids outside, who are probably getting high I say, “Thanks, I’m good, It’s really not my style,” There are many, many drunk people in this room If you are one of them, I’m gonna be one of them, too So I’m gonna stick around here Maybe fifteen minutes longer And I gotta speak to you Before this stupid night is over Oh, but I’m so bad at everything I do I came to this stupid party for you If anyone asks, I came here for the food Fuck, shit, it’s happened again She’s making out with the guy who killed her boyfriend Fuck, shit, it’s happened again She’s making out with the guy who killed her boyfriend
11.
I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror And screamed into the pillow I was spooning last night I cry in the shower, ‘cause the tears just wash off And shampoo in my eyes makes me forget what I was thinking of I won’t brush my teeth, I haven’t all week I won’t talk to anyone, I haven’t all week I give a big sigh and I fall back to bed It’s only eight A-fucking-M I disappeared and they all thought I died Then I returned to the most patronising eyes Everyone knows now, a lot of them stare As I walk past in the corridors I won’t do it again, I swear Everybody hates me, or everybody is concerned for me And some people feel both and I owe them an apology My friends have lost what I used to be Breath, one, two, three I’m so fucking sad And I don’t know why I try I’m so fucking sad And I don’t know why I try Why are they looking at me? Can you make them stop? “Have you heard the rumours?” Honey, I am the rumours Their mouths are moving So I turn it up louder Till I can’t hear the voices inside my head
12.
Maximilian, the world is so much bigger than we thought Maximilian, you’re beauty in its purest form Maximilian, there must be, there must be another way So don’t give way I want you to stay here with me now Maximilian, I feel like our lives have just begun Maximilian, don’t do something that cannot be undone Maximilian, do you remember the summer of ’88? Our first date I want you to stay here with me now All you’ve been through All those scars They don’t control you Or who you are And all you’ve been through You’ve come so far You should be proud of Who you are Where are you lately? Where have you gone? Please pick up Max, Something’s wrong I said I’m sorry, I really meant it Please pick up Maximilian, the world is so much bigger than we thought Maximilian, I am sadness, sadness in its purest form Maximilian, I never got to tell you that I love you And I do, I really do Wow, what an amazing song there, I don’t know who Maximilian is, But let’s wave him goodbye And I have an announcement to make And that announcement is to call your friends And please make sure that they’re doing okay Message them, call them, whatever And if you’re in trouble You can call the Samaritans on 116 123 I repeat, that’s 116 123 you can call the Samaritans Talkline, worldwide This is The Ricky Jamaraz Show, and we hope you stay safe
13.
Okay, right, we’re here live in the studio with Ricky Jamaraz (Hi everyone) Hello everyone (Hiii) This is the final track of your new album! Wha-wh-what are we calling this track? (‘Track 13 Of My New Album’) Okay, uhh, imaginative, imaginative (Yeah! Well you know,) (Does what it says on the box, you know?) So, what’s going on here? (Basically, the guitar’s playing different melodies) (From each of the songs on the album) Oh, okay, that’s- that’s interesting Shall we- shall we just have a listen? (Yeah yeah, just listen closely, you’ll be able to hear it) Okay, okay (Recognise this one?) Oh I know this! “-You know what I’m saying?” Yeah! (Yeah!) I like- I- that’s a- that’s a cool little thing you’ve done there (It’s cool init?) (Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s quite cool, it’s quite cool) What have we got next? Fairy lights… “I’ll say your eyes are the sda da-da sdaaa” Yeah, yeah! (Yeah exactly!) That’s cool, that’s cool, man (Yeah man! It’s really, it’s really, you know) (It’s just a random thought I had, like, ahh) (To finish an album, like, what do you wanna finish it as?) (You just wanna, finish it, like, summing up the whole thing) I can feel it like building up, bro, you know what I mean? That’s so cool (Yeah, exactly, this build up, oh, I tell you what, it gets really good later on) “-You right here with me” Yeah, yeah (Exactly, exactly) “-Shit, it’s happened agai-“ Oh my god, you got all the songs here! All- every single song (Exactly yeah!) That’s so cool (Every song from the album, yeah) What’s after this one? Oh it’s um- ‘Ohio’ after this, init (Yeah, yeah) yeah “I’m so fucking sad,” Yeahhh we love that one, we love that one (Yeah, it’s a good one, man) (Maximilian) Oh yes, and the drums come in! (Yeah, yeah, yeah!) Ohh the drums come in, it’s so good! (You can feel it) (You can feel it, can’t you?) (Ready for this?) Yesss The build!! (Yes, it’s so good!) The drums! The- the guitars! (It’s brilliant) Yes! Yesss it’s so goodddd (Mate, you’re not ready for this) Oh my god I’m having an eargasm Oh!! Ricky, I’m speechless!! It’s amazing!! So, tell us about the album then When did you start recording it? (Like, back in December of ’22) Really? So it’s been in the makings for a long time then (Oh definitely, yeah, yeah man) (I’ve spent so much time on this project, it’s insane) That’s- honestly, yeah, that’s really cool I just- what you’ve done- all by yourself? (Yeah) That’s fucking amazing mate (Thank you, thank you) Honestly, the stuff that you’re doing, at this level, at such a young age It’s just- mind boggling (Thank you, thank you) Dude, my mind is blown, how’d you write this? How’d you- where’d you start making something like this?? (Man I ju- haha- I don’t know! I just write stuff that I’d want to hear) That’s just- out of this world, like genuinely Out of this world Also, do you erm- Do you think the viewers mind if we’re just talking over this? (Nah it’s alright, it’s jamarazcore!) Oh yeah, fair point to be honest Oh this bit’s so good It’s so yummy!!! (I know right? It’s so cool) (It’s like the outro to- to like a really cool anime) (That’s the kinda vibe I was going for) Ahh those drums, bro The “bidiilifddfil”, that’s so goodddd!! (I know!! The drums are just what makes a song for me) Yeah, totally man, the drum sound is on point Wow, would you look at the time? Jesus Christ, Ricky Jamaraz, I- I think it’s safe to say that that was the Worst Album Everrrr, yeahh (hahaha) Thank you so much for listening! (Thank youuu) You’re watching The Ricky Jamaraz Show Ricky Jamaraaaaaz

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an album made by a 15 year old kid in his bedroom :) have a listen!! i might be famous one day

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released August 22, 2023

All songs written, recorded and produced by Thomas A. Ison.

© 2023 sad lonely bedroom records. All Rights Reserved.

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Ricky Jamaraz Nottingham, UK

16, just one guy. enjoyment is optional!

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